


Our Floran Matchmaker

by Anonymous_Jackalope



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Chaos, F/M, Fourth Wall Breaking, Shipping, Slicenerfer is best Floran, mentions of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Jackalope/pseuds/Anonymous_Jackalope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slicenerfer was known by many as the goddess of shipping. If she shipped it, it happened pretty quickly. But when Foxy and Mangle take too long to get together,  Slice decides to take matters into her own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unsupportive Poultry

**Author's Note:**

> IDK. Don't judge me. BTW, if sparklerthesableye on deviantart.com posts this, that's me, don't worry.  
> Minor language, some adult/ morbid humor.  
> Some foreign cursing.

Slicenerfer dusted her hands off. "W-wow. Who would've th-thought that an a-alligator wressstler would be sssuch a good match for a b-b-ballerina? Sssomeone needsss to tell that guy that the tutu is for g-girlsss."

"Wow, back already, my stuttering cupcake?" Slicenerfer pivoted on her foot, and growled at the sexualized chicken.

"I thought I told you NOT TO CALL ME THAT, CHICA!" Chica flinched. "Sssorry. I didn't mean to ssstartle you." The chicken shrugged.

"Eh, it's a'ight. Not the first time you've scared me. So, how'd it go?" Slicenerfer flashed a grin. "Wow. Guess you could make anything fall in love. Bet you could even make Bonnie like me." Chica sighed dreamily, making Slicenerfer give her a knowing look.

"Chica, you know I can't. I have to let it jussst happen. There are VERY few cassess where I can interfere with emotionss directly. Daddy jusst won't let me. Ssspoilssport..." Chica nodded slightly.

"It's okay, Slicey. I get it. Your dad won't let you meddle with minds." Slice smiled a bit.

"I ssstill ship it, though." Chica laughed. They continued with meaningless conversation for a while, until something popped into Chica's head. 

"Hey, Slicey? Who do you ship May with?" Slicenerfer thought for a bit. The Mangle was hard to ship, mostly just because she was so hyper.

"Hmm... That's a hard one. Wait! Foxy." Chica gave her a look that said 'Are you shittin' me?' "What? I'm ssseriouss!" Chica made as much of a frown as was possible. 

"Look, Slicey, Foxy is... Foxy. He isn't exactly known for his caring nature. Besides, May is sensitive. She would get her heart broken." Slicenerfer let out an animalistic growl.

"I AM GOING TO MAKE FANGLE HAPPEN WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU CADELA CEGA!" Chica let out an exasperated sigh.

"Slicey, you know I don't speak Portuguese..."


	2. Frustrating Foxes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slicenerfer, determined to get the foxes together, is oblivious to why Chica doesn't trust the male. Then, she finds out.

Slicenerfer hung lazily from the ceiling light. "Ssstupid Chica. I do whatever the heck I want. It's not my fault she can't ssee the beauty in it..."

"See the beauty in what, my fellow creepy-crawly?" Slicenerfer hit her head on the ceiling. "Heehee, get a boo-boo, Spice?" 'Spice' giggled.

"That's an awfully creative nickname, Sspixen." 'Spixen' twisted her head a little. 

"Right back at'cha. But seriously, see the beauty in what?" 

"A ship." Spixen gasped dramatically.

"She should be supportive! You know what you're talking about! Who's the girl?" Spice blinked. "Me? I feel so honored. Who's the guy?" Spice opened her mouth, but was cut off. "Wait! Don't tell me. I'll figure it out. So Chica doesn't support the ship?" She shook her head. "Why?"

"I wish I knew. She jusst doesn't trusst him." Spixen tapped a finger on her now skyward-facing chin.

"It's Foxy, isn't it?" If Spice was drinking something, she would've done a spit take. "Spice, she kinda has a point. I mean, after the bite of '87... Wait, no one told you... did they?" She shook her head. "Foxy supposedly bit someone. To quote the phone guy, 'It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?" 

"Ow!" Spice fell off the light. "That doesn't ssound very pleasant... and I never said it WAS Foxy." Spixen climbed down and wrapped an... appendage... around Spice.

"Look, I love the guy, but Chica hates him. She won't listen to his side of the story." Spice huffed. 

"Then I know what I'm doing today."


	3. Foxy has Feelings, too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slicenerfer talks to Foxy about '87 and the 5 murders. We realize that I cannot do a pirate accent. More swearing than usual.

Spice walked to Pirate Cove, starting to look around nervously. "Why do I get the feeling that I'm about to get jumpscared?" Foxy popped out of nowhere. 

"Ahoy, lass! How ye be doin' this fine day?" Spice shrieked, shattering a window, and ducked down. "That bad, eh?" Spice stood up slowly.

"D-don't sscare me like that!" Foxy looked down sheepishly. "And, yes. Kind of. I don't know! Chica doesn't like you, and I wanted to know why, and Mangle told me about the bite of '87, so I wanted to hear your side of it."

"Is that all? Ye be havin' a bad day jes' 'cause Chica don't like me?" Spice nodded. "Wow, lass, ye got some weird issues." 

"I just want to know what happened in '87 that made ssomeone lose their frontal lobe." Foxy searched her face to see if she was serious. 

"Well, if ye be wantin' a story, I guess I gotta give ye one. The problem is, lass, I don' remember. That was a day I was gettin' me voice box repaired again, methinks. Chica been blamin' me, and I wasn' even there." Spice was astonished. 

"You weren't there, but she thinkss it was you? Little cadela! Ugh, why do I even talk to her?" Foxy laughed a bit. "What else has happened with you guys that I haven't heard about?" Foxy thought for a bit.

"Well, in the first place, five lil' guppies went missin'. Rumor has it they were shoved in suits, 'cause they started smellin' funny, and blood an' stuff was leakin' out." Spice looked horrified.

"Mother of AKAMI! Wait..." Foxy looked at her, expecting a question he didn't want to answer. "You were one of the first four animatronicss. Does that mean... OM motherfucking G." Foxy nodded. "And the fifth? Where'd that one go?"

"Golden Freddy."

"Wow. Drama. Are the ssoulss possessing the old ssuitss? Because that would mean that I'm talking to one of the murdered kidss. Gosh. Information. Holy fucking shit." 

"Lass, ye gotta calm it with the cursin'. I AM a kid, here."

"Eep! Sssorry..."


End file.
